31 December 2015

Reflections of 2015

Hello my lovely readers, its been a few weeks since I have posted here. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

I decided to take some time off from the blog and even found it quite difficult to wholly immerse myself into Vlogmas this year. This year, more than anything I really just wanted a Christmas with family and friends, and not to be spending my time locked away writing and editing. Although I love doing both, I felt as the year came to a close - it was important for me to spend time with the people that made this year so worthwhile.

In reflecting back over my year, I cannot help but bring up my condition one final time. Many people often ask me about what waiting for surgery and living with Freiberg's Diseases has been like and I would often tell them that I feel like I have lost two years of my life. As I sit here reflecting over this past year for this post today, I have realised that is not the case. Much to the contrary, I have grown, I have changed and I have formed new and incredible friendships. Friendships that I not only didn't know I needed, but also that have made me realise how past "friendships" were not that at all. 

A quote I came across earlier in the year sums my feelings up perfectly: 

"Ive come to realise the only people I need in my life are the ones that need me in theirs. Even when I have nothing to offer but myself."

I feel like I have learned so much more in this year alone, than I have in my entire life. This year was filled with so may conflicting moments. Some wonderful and some truly heartbreaking. From finally getting a surgery date to losing my best furry friend - every single moment has taught me something not just about life, love and loss but also about me, the kind of person I want to be and what I want for my life. 

When I look back at my life before being diagnosed with Freiberg's disease, I feel like instead of living I was simply existing and one thing having this disease has taught me, is that I don't want to just exist - I want to live. Having many simple things taken away from me until I could have my reparative surgery only made realise how much more I want to do everything I can do with myself, and do it to the fullest. 

Life is short and full of obstacles, I feel truly blessed to be surrounded with so many wonderful people and for once in my life I feel like these people truly lift me up and encourage me to explore new things, step outside my comfort zone - and well - live! I can't name them all here because the list would go on forever but to name a small few:

Mam & Olivia - Thank you for being my best friends! For making me laugh and for encouraging me every day. 

Dad, Michael and Joseph - Thank you for always believing in me and helping me even when I didn't think I needed help. 

Damian, Siobhan and Paul - I could not ask for a better family "in-law".  Thank you for always accepting me as I am. 

Tom - you are already family to me, but even if that weren't the case - I would be lost without you. Thank you for always knowing the right things to say. 

Rachel - Thank you brightening up every room you walk into, and always bringing happiness wherever you go. 

Sinead - The friend I never knew I needed. Thank you for always being there for me and for teaching me what loyalty and friendship is all about. I can't ever imagine going through another single day of my life without your encouragement and support! You are one of the most selfless and wonderful people I have ever met. 

Debi - I don't even know where to start. I feel like I've known you my whole life! Thank you for always being there (even though you are 3000+ miles away). I don't know how I could have gotten through this past year without you constantly reminding me that I am capable of so much more than I believe I am. 

Jennette - Thank you for always checking in to see how I have been doing, for all of your advice and the countless cake and chats we've been able to share this past year! 

Alaina - Thank you for being my best internet friend! I cannot wait for the day we  finally meet in person!

Last but not least - my wonderful husband Shane who I truly wouldn't function without. Thank you honey, for your understanding, for your compassion and for loving me despite the many times I could not love myself. You are the greatest blessing in my life, you mean everything to me. I love you to the moon and back.

The only resolution I have for 2016 is to do more of what makes me happy.

With all that said, here are some of my favourite moments from 2015:

So wherever you ring in the New Year tonight, be it with family and friends or tucked up with a good book - know that you have a purpose and you are destined for great things! Know that the little quirks and stubborn moments you have are what make you - you. Know that 2016 will be a great year - I can feel it! 

Thank you so much to every single one of you for reading and supporting my blog this past year!

Wishing you and yours a very Happy New Year! 

See you next year! :)
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